Saturday, November 15, 2008

I went to play bingo with one of my friends from work (Denise) at the V.F.W. hall in Ontario last night and it was so AWESOME! It was so like that episode of Rosanne with the woman and her troll dolls and the old ladies with bags full of dobbers but I loved it. It felt like we were in a dingy church basement with crappy lighting, poor air circulation, and the entire elderly population of Malheur county all packed in one room deep in concentration. We loved it and are planning on going back once a month. It was nothing like the bingo hall in Salem that I used to play at but I like it better. It is more fun. The hall in Salem was all business...this one is terribly small town...and that is why I love it. The pots are considerably smaller (usually 500.00 blackout paid 70.00 here) but that doesn't bother me. Out of all the times I have been to play bingo I have never won anything until last night. Yeah it was a measly 25.00 but that means it only cost me 2.00 to play all night long. It was awesome. I do wish my sister was there to play with .us though...she probably wouldn't have liked it as much as I did. She hates that small town stuff...especially this small town stuff, but I love her anyway.

To get to the subject that has commanded my attention for the last eight months. You know when you really sit down and think about being really is a very STRANGE thing. You have a tiny human being just living in your abdomen with all your vital and not so vital organs. Kicking you...moving around...and generally feeling at home. Some days making life so much harder then you have ever known it to be and sometimes giving you more joy with a few kicks to the ribs than you could have ever imagined. To feel him move and the little life that we have created makes me cry every time I think about it. It is a beautiful a very strange package.

Now that I am winding down in this pregnancy...only 48 days left...I can't help but look forward a to a few things and wonder about some others. For instance: what do I do now? The waiting is about to kill me. It seems like every few minutes of the day I look down at my ginormous belly and wonder will it be today...tomarrow...or next week? What will my delivery be like? They are all so different. Did I do everything right, or the best that I could? Will he be happy and healthy? I guess these are all normal thoughts and concerns facing a new mom to be. On the other hand I am looking forward to A LOT of things that I have missed while being pregnant.

1. Being able to wear my jeans again! You have no idea how much I have missed that these past eight months. I didn't know how much I would miss it. Lately I find myself standing in front of my closet staring up at my pile of perfectly good, comfortable, and PERFECT jeans fantasizing about the day when I will get to wear them again. I even thought about taking a pair to the hospital with me just to see if I could wear them afterward even though I know that wont happen for a while.

2. A nice big ice cold glass of diet Pepsi...or a sugar free Rockstar. I guess it is just the caffeine that I miss the most but oh well. I am tired of hearing people complain about how they need to give caffeine up or that they can't believe how they have survived with out a drop of caffeine for the last TWO DAYS! What the HELL! It has been 8 months for me so shit twice and die for all I care. As you can tell I am a bit touchy about the subject. I guess it is true then they call caffeine a drug and talk of addiction.

3. Being able to breath or bend over. This hasn't necessarily been a big problem until just recently but it really is a pain in the ass. You can't do the things that you usually do and it is damn annoying. Simple things like putting on your socks or picking up one of the many things you drop during the day are a giant task and you have to hold your breath to accomplish them.

No...all in all pregnancy has been a blessing and I better get used to them if Adam and I want to do this at least three more times, it is just that after so long the end is starting to look so great. I can't wait for Gunnar to get here and to finally begin my new roll in life as a MOM. I have an appointment on Thursday with the doc where I get to see Gunnar again in an ultrasound so I will post what he said and any new pictures I have later. Gotta jet.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

With so many of my friends giving birth so soon I am really getting nervous. My count down says 51 days but I am sure it will be before then. I am not so scared of the pain of giving birth...although I know it is going to hurt like HELL...I have pretty much resigned myself to the pain and decided that it is what my body is made for so I should be able to survive...right? Anyway, what scares me the most is this whole MOM thing. Sometimes I am a little dorky and do things that are completely blond and...what if I do something like that with Gunnar? This is the most important thing that I will do in my entire life and what if I totally screw it up? My sister says that it is not as hard as you think and that once he gets here your instincts kick in and take over. I really hope that is true. I didn't have the best roll model when I was growing up so hopefully my instincts are stronger then that.
On a different note my next doctors appointment is on the 20th and my doctor has scheduled another ultrasound because he is a bit worried at how big Gunnar is. I have measured three weeks ahead of where I should be for the last three months and so my doc wants to see exactly how big Gunnar is. What he will do with that information I am not sure. What if he is going to be 10lbs? Holy SHIT! Oh well, one good thing is that I get to see him again and hopefully we will get some new pictures. YES!! If we do get some pics I will post them so you all can see how handsome he is!
I have also been working on some new projects and am almost finished with one of them so I will post some pictures as soon as I finish them so you can check them out. They are super cute.